Four kobold swashbucklers on a Mharoti raiding ship bound for the shores of Kyprion chatted one night, telling tales of amazing encounters they had witnessed in their lives.
Splinter: Ahr, not all them Jambuka are as soft skinned as you are led to believe, my friend. Take Arcael and The Oooze, for example. You may not have heard of them before, but even when I lived in the Seven Cities, we knew of their musical ventures in Zobeck and abroad. On my way here, I travelled on the Nautilus and had the good fortune to meet these human heroes. Well, one of them is dragonkin, but the rest are pink as petals if you get my meaning.
Razortooth: Squishy like peaches?
Splinter: You can laugh now, my friend, but you wouldn’t laugh in the face of that evil sorcerer, Arcael, I can assure you. I saw him cast magic spells the like of which you couldn’t believe. Took down a whole troop of ugly Sahuagin!
Noseplug: Three kobold swashbuklers armed with short spears could do that.
Splinter: You think so? And how would they fare against a Phase Vampire?
Scalewort: Does such a thing even exist?
Splinter: You better believe it. I saw it with my own eyes, hidden in the ship’s hold as I was. Pinned it down with magic they did…. and then that wicked Edjet sliced the beast in two with one foul swipe. Ah, it was martial majesty, I tell you!
Razortooth: And where are these terrors now?
Splinter: Last I heard they were still housed in the New Foreigners’ Ghetto, hoping to get trade permits to work in Harkesh.
Razortooth: Well, I hope that bitch Rosa Klebb gives them a good hard time!