Campaign of the Month: May 2016


A run in with a Sarlacc

Bruised Dignity


This ship was younger than the last, it’s blast furnace was far livelier. Only recently having gained partial sentience it’s thoughts were erratic, full of nonsense. The results of this were sudden bursts of speed every so often, slowly turning Bartiman positively green. He kept muttering along the lines of the ground being the only true way to move arround  with solid, proper dirt between your claws and the sun being unnatural in this part of the world. Foresters, pha no interest in real works of art, to fly without wings, or the closest thing too it thought Walderin. That and this extra light was doing wonders for the newly installed Divinity Crystal the Venerable One had installed deep within his chest to regulate the gathering magic within. Almost bursting with the loving dedication of the glorious powers of Rava.

A shuddering broke his contemplation of whimsy. Then a sickening squeal of pain and panic emanating throughout the decks as the ship stopped dead. Something had grabbed it.

Massive dark shapes erupted like Velfrey Worms from a festering sore all arround the ship. Two of these wormes grabbed Thalin and Kerd’rez, two deck hands that kept the keening ship looking new and smooth, before they could react and wrenched them overboard. A second later he dodged another arm and saw the Half God get grabbed. These went wormes, no they were arms, from some massive beast no doubt below the ship. Failing to slice his assaling testical as it made another pass for him he noted the Fire Lord running up the steps assessing the situation with those overly old eye’s of his. Seconds later he was dancing above the ship, a bird without wings, gathering a nimbus of flame arround himself. Swing, miss, Swing. Fwooom, a huge swathe of flame passed over two of the testicals incinerating them instantly. A sickening squelch as the grey looking Piccolo Leviathan crushed another with his mighty staff. The Small Shade started savaging another limb as a final gout of flame passed uncomfortably close to the hull. This caused the entire ship to lurch to the side, sending the already unstable Bartiman over the edge down towards the waiting maw below.

This caused a frantic flurry from the group. A massive ball of green, sickening sludge whammed into the partially revealed monstrosity awaiting below the sands exciting a wail of primal Rage. Goran threw a rope overboard towards the frantic scrabbling fingers of Bartiman just too late as he sank, below the unforgiving, penultimate sands. The power within Iwandornless was crying, screaming to be unleashed. A whispering of hope, redemption, salvation was just beyond the edge of the senses. Awaiting nought but the call to answer. A prayer, as he watched helplessly from the deck, simple and concise. Save him, this displaced forester, grant him reprieve. A surge of power rushed from the depths of his broken body. A heave from the sand, then a mighty gout of sand, slime and partially digested parts spewed fourth sending with them a bruised slime covered Bartiman careening into the still flying and thoroughly surprised Arcael.

A few days later Bartiman could be heard loudly examining that should they ever tell anyone of what transpired near the end, retribution would be swift.

A silent thanks to Rava, she of the workers, of the Iron Cog of industry. Let your perseverance in the ways keep me humble and dedicated in your mighty plan.

A dark haze haze appeared on the horizon, blotting out the sun as far as the eye could see. (to be continued :P)dun Dun DUUUNN


Brilliant rendition of events. I’m sure you will have no quarrel with Arcael accepting the title of “Fire Lord”.
(Walderin’s divine power came from a single roll for each character at the beginning of the campaign to see if a Divine Blessing would be bestowed. His roll of 98% ensured it and I think it came not a moment too soon.)

A run in with a Sarlacc

I seem to recall that we were not attacked by ‘testicals’ (bloody spellcheckers?) but it did make me smile. Enjoyed.

A run in with a Sarlacc

LOL! I missed that, But now you have pointed it out, I am reading again and guffawing!

A run in with a Sarlacc

Yea… lets go with spell checker and not my lack observation on my own writing. :P Sooo Bartiman was thoroughly violated then?

A run in with a Sarlacc

Apologies Lewis, but it was too good not to flag up.

A run in with a Sarlacc

I’m never usually much good at slicing assailing testicles either!

A run in with a Sarlacc

Don’t think I’ll change it though, works well with the Sarlacc picture.

A run in with a Sarlacc


A run in with a Sarlacc
twiggyleaf Dragathorian

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