Now, see, I don’t say a kobold aint no equal, but I do say he got scaly skin and he’s smaller ‘n most. Sometimes I don’t wonder if ol’ King Kuromak himself aint in league with that sultry Sultana them winged lizards got workin’ for them down south, but he’s got his place on the Council, and as a Capp’n of The Law I gotta respect that. Hell, you could say that little lizard even pays some of my wages.
Now them sneaky shadowy Fey, them’s another thing, and don’t tell me they don’t still slink around the shadows at night, coz I seen ‘em and they aint pretty. Yeah, they may live in their Shadow Courts, eating Sarastra’s shadow shit and casting their damn shadow magic but they’re as real as shadows themselves and they got shadow roads that come right up to the walls of the city, or I’m not the son of a barrister guildmaster.
This city might be built by humans but it’s not just humans a Capp’n of the Watch has to deal with. Thieving little dwarf slavers, mechanical monstrosities, half-gnomes, bullheads, I’ve seen ‘em all and I got to treat ’em right by the council or the Counsellors get fidgety, see? You know me, I’m as honest as they come, give or take a few minor kinks, and as long as these folks keep in line, they can stay there.
Sure you get weirdos! I don’t go down them Cartways no more! Let them in the underground keep the underground I say. A place for keen-eyed lizards ‘n ghouls is them realms. Yeah, ghouls I said, Darakhul, and don’t tell me there aint none in Zobeck coz I got ears ‘n I got eyes. You got vamps ruling them poor folks up The Old North Road and they aint no free citizens like we got here. From what I hear, under the lands of Morgau and Doresh, you got an entire kingdom of them flesh lovers, and they’re moving closer every day. Maybe it’s only them slinky Shadow Fey as keep em out of Zobeck. That, and The Old Margreve. Not even a ghoul’s gonna mess with them trees and their roots run deep!
But I got no time for changelings, and who has? How can you trust someone that doesn’t even keep true to his own form. Yeah, I’m talking about the were’s. Every full moon my men have to deal with the extra carnage and if we find one of them, we kill them straight off with silver spears. All my boys get a silver spear and a sprig of wolfbane on the full moon – the herb keeps them at bay long enough to stick in your spear and they don’t like them silver bits none.
Trouble with the weres is, when it’s not full moon, you don’t know who they are. I can’t go arresting no citizen just coz’ some jealous business rival tells me he’s a wolf or a tiger or a bear. I mean, it’s weird shit, but how do you know, and I aint go enough cells to keep ’em all in overnight jus ’n case, if you get my drift.
Keepin the Law’s just like keepin’ a kid. It looks all sweet on the outside but it’s always got it’s dark side and you gotta keep yer eye on the thing less’n it gets its dark side out ‘n screws you over. You know why they call us THE WATCH? Coz that’s what we do. We watch, an iff’n we sees something we don’t like, then we act. Course, a bitta gleamin’ coin always does wonders for the eyesight, if you know what I mean.
Captain Hendryk is a Captain of the Watch, stationed in Lower Zobeck.